Braedon gets suspended,then gets on green & Cohen walks!

On Wednesday, the school had a "bring your grandparents to lunch" day in honor of grandparents day so Namma, Mom and I went up there. Braedon had had a rough morning and was in OCR which normally would've meant he would be walked to the cafeteria to get his lunch and then back to OCR to eat it but they made an exception since he pulled his act together in OCR and because we were there. I headed up a little early to talk to him about what he had been doing and then we went over and had lunch. While we were eating, Mr. George (OCR teacher) came in to get lunch with the other boys that were in there and Braedon's face just lit up. He had told us that he liked OCR but based on the reason's he gave, I figured it was because it was quiet in there and hew as getting over stimulated. Come to find out, he really likes Mr. George. Bells and whistles and red flags went off in my head-He likes Mr. George which is why he likes OCR which is why he keeps getting sent there. He knows if he acts up, he will be sent there. I don't know why I didn't put 2 and 2 together before that. We also discussed the possibility of him being bored in class because he is definitely smart for his age but more importantly, he absorbs everything very quickly and has an impecable memory. You don't have to tell him how to do something more than a couple times and he has it. After lunch, I met up with Ms. Jelleson (Asst. Principal) to discuss the my observances.

We set up the meeting on Thursday morning before school started so Miss Fredrickson could be there. We all discussed the *problem* with Mr. George. Come to find out, Mr. George is an ex Juvenile detention officer...whoa! So he talks to them about their decisions, making the right decisions and what is going to happen if they continue to make the wrong decisions. GREAT! But not great since Braedon likes him. Miss Fredrickson brought in his DIBELS test results for me to see and he is right where he needs to be...not below, not above. However, as I looked over some of his work, he missed things that I know he can do. Miss Fredrickson said that he continues to say he's tired and doesn't know how to do something that he can do. Between the 3 of us, we think he is getting overwhelmed. Instead of looking at things one at a time, he looks at the big picture. We worked out a plan that we were hoping was going to work. Rather than using OCR as a punishment, we flipped it to be more of a positive. If he was being good but needed a quiet moment/cool off moment, he could go see Mr. George. I didn't want him to lose that connection especially if Mr. George is talking to him about his actions and what that could mean in the future. Miss Fredrickson was also going to work on "chunking" him work. Instead of telling him to do the whole worksheet, she will cover up half of it and say "Ok Braedon, you are just going to do these ones then come see me". This way he gets immediate gradification and the praise/attention he so desperately seeks then he works on the second portion. After we had that established, Ms. Jelleson piped in and talked to him about his behavior and referrals (basically write ups when it gets bad enough-3 referrals=suspension and he already had 2). She told him that he needed to work on calming down and asking to go see Mr. George if he needed help. She then proceeded to tell him that if he got another referral, he would be sent home.....BIG MISTAKE! I cringed when she said it and it took her a minute to realize what she had just done. I immediately piped in and told him that he would NOT have fun at home if he got sent home-there would be no toys, TV, games, nothing and he would be sitting at his table all day writing letters and doing homework. He agreed but I knew better.

Not 30 minutes later I got a call that he scratched on kid and kicked another. He then refused to walk out of the room to cool off and talk to Ms Jelleson and she had to carry him down the hall to her office. He officially got his 3rd referral for hurting 2 other kids and I had to go pick him up. I was beyond upset-my kindergartner was suspended. By the time I got there, I could tell he was truly upset for what he had done and was crying. Ms. Jelleson said she had never seen him so upset so I think something set him off and he lost control. It took him a minute to remember/realize what he had done and he was truly sad over it. There is definitely something going on there but I couldn't let that interfere with what had happened and the punishment. I had warned him and I had to follow through. We talked with the school counselor and I filled out a sort of permission slip so she could talk to him a couple times a week about his feelings and how to express them. She'll also work on relaxation and calming down exercises.

Once we got home, he got what he was promised. I moved his table to the base of the stairs on the other side of the baby gate where I could still see him but he couldn't see anything that was going on in the living room. I made him sit there while I calmed down and figured out what I was going to do. He complained he was tired and hungry but just because we were at home, I couldn't let him take a nap or eat prior to lunch "time" so I made him keep his head off the table and he wasn't allowed to eat lunch until 11. I found a website that has grade appropriate worksheets and printed off countless worksheets. In the meantime, I wrote out letters of appology to the 2 kids he hurt, Miss Fredrickson and Ms. Jelleson. I made him tell me what he wanted to say and then he had to write them out. It was the first time he had to write sentences so it took several times before he had a copy that was somewhat legible but it was a learning experience for him in 2 ways-1: writing sentences and seeing how letters are combined to make words, spaces between words and how words make sentences-2; writing appology letters for his actions. He got 2 acceptable letters written before lunch so I let him stop and eat but then it was back to writing the 2 others. After he finished those, I made him start working on the stack of worksheets I had printed off. I talked to him about what he had done and why he was sent home. I also made sure he realized that school was the better option. I took it as a learning experience because he kept telling us he just wanted to be at home not realizing that being at home wouldn't be like it was before he started school. I still praised him on the worksheets and gave him the gratification he needed to continue but every time he got up from his chair, I made him sit back down. I also made it a point to not talk to him and kept Cohen away from the baby gate. If he had to go to the bathroom, he told me before he got up and if he had a question about the worksheet I answered but nothing beyond that. Once school would've gotten out, I made him a snack and then made him go back to work. He was then able to stop for dinner and then back to work until bedtime. I debated on letting him stop when school was over but I felt I had to go to the extreme to make sure he remembers how much being sent home sucked. Once Chris got home, he said "I just want to go to school, I don't want to do all this" so I knew I had made the right impression. When we tucked him in he said he doesn't ever want to be sent home again and he would be good on Friday. Good :-)

Friday morning, I decided we would spend more time at home and get there right when school started rather than going early for breakfast he can't eat anyway. I had been making his breakfast and letting him eat with the other kids but most days he looked sad and I think it is because he can't have what they are having. So he ate breakfast at home and we had about 20 extra minutes together. When we got to school, I gave him the letters he had wrote so he could hand them out. First up was Ms. Jelleson-she bent down and read what it said, gave him a hug and said Thank you. She also put it up on her bulletin board that has things other kids have given her. I could see how excited he was and proud. Next up was Miss Fredrickson who also said Thank you then the 2 kids in his class. Abby is who he kicked and when he gave it to her, she said Thanks but they are all learning how to read so I had him tell her what it said. I got a glipse of him giving the other one to Ryan which is who he scratched and I could see Braedon telling Ryan what it said (they were across the room) and then I heard Ryan say "Aww how sweet Thank you!" Followed by a hug! I about lost it. I had been so worried that he didn't have any friends because of how he had been acting but kids are very forgiving-come to find out he even has 2, yes 2, girlfriends! I mean, he is quite the little handsome boy but still..lay off girls LOL!

I left the school with high hopes but didn't want to be disappointed so I settled on yellow being a good day-Yellow is better than orange, red and suspension. I got a call at about 10 from the school but I was taking Cohen upstairs for nap. My gut told me it was the school and I got sick to my stomach. When I got back downstairs, I hated to look but knew I had to-it was in fact, the school. I didn't wait for the message and called right back. Relief-it was the attendance-apparently he had been marked absent since we didn't get there for breakfast. Whew! They patched me back to his class so Miss Fredrickson would confirm he was there and not missing. She told me his morning was going great! He had one episode but was able to pull it together quickly! I was so excited but still anticipated a rougher afternoon. I found myself watching the clock, keeping tabs on what he should be doing and waiting for the phone to ring...it didn't. My heart was racing and I was anxious as I drove to the school to pick him up. Once they opened the gate, I saw that Miss Fredrickson was holding on to him and I just sank. That only happens when she needs to talk to me about his day which means it was a bad day. All of a sudden, I saw them both start smiling and she took his hand and ran with him up to me holding out his calendar (where the color is marked) and I saw a big GREEN smiley face! Oh I lost it and started tearing up. She said it was a great day-he had a couple melt downs and a couple episodes of not listening but all in all he did great! I was so relieved and happy and he was excited about it as well!

In other Braedon news, he started soccer last week and had his first game Saturday morning. He did really well and I know he wants to try football but I think soccer is going to be his niche. It is active enough to keep him running and interested and he has always done really well with kicking. They don't keep official score but his team won 2-1 :-) After his game, we went to the party supply store and got everything for his birthday party then headed over to Toys R Us so he could show us what he wants. It was definitely a long day but we had fun. We are finally starting to see glimpses of "the old Braedon" that we love. Taking out all these problems, freakouts and melt downs, he is the sweetest, most loving, cuddly, smart, quick witted, funny kid you will ever meet. We are finally starting to enjoy him again and I couldn't be happier. I am calling his ped on Monday to get him in for another behavior consult now that we can get a teacher evaluation. We will see the doctor we had seen in the past that was completely supportive of our decision not to medicate him rather find other options that work. I am also going to have them test him for diabetes, thyroid issues and refer us to an allergist to have a full allergy test run. I want to know if he is allergic to dairy or just "sensitive".

Now onto Cohen news! He had taken steps on his own a few weeks ago but he had a complex about letting go. He will walk where ever as long as he is pushing something-his walker, a chair, anything. Well, this weekend, I was in the bathroom (TMI sorry LOL) and he came crawling in looking for me. He stood up using the door frame and I said "look at you big boy". He started to laugh, then took a step, got his balance, laughed again, took another step, got his balance, laughed and took another one! He knew what he was doing and thought it was funny! He did it again when Chris got home to show daddy too. He has only made it up to 4 steps but it is progress since it is 4 steps that he realizes he is taking and not just on accident. He is walking from chair to chair, couch to ottoman, etc. He is still faster at crawling and if he wants to get somewhere, he gets down and crawls but he loves to stand!

I can't wait until his birthday! Both of theirs actually but while at Toys R Us, we got to look at toys for Cohen and things he would enjoy. I am excited about some of the toys and such we found and I know he will love getting new toys. He has quite a bit but hasn't gotten new ones in a while and he is starting to outgrow some of them.

I will try to post a "picture" post tomorrow of our recent trip to the zoo, the soccer game and pictures we took yesterday for their invitations :-)